7 November 2011

Lost Creativity.....

It have been five days now
I havent been on YouTube, Facebook or Twitter for two days

Now Im about to move off to Tumblr, for some reason it feels more up to date to have a blog there....

2 November 2011

My seven dear followers....*need to speak out somewhere*

Hi Blogger,
Havent been here for long time as it was so little interest in this corner of mine. Often I have felt I wanted to go here anyway and just talk if not only to myself. Because I always have so much thoughts in my mind that I need to get out somewhere. Unfortunately lack of proper time to write have prevented me but now I simply decided to take my time

Now I came here to almost delete this blogger but I see that I after all got very few new and rare followers here. If you read this, please let me know in a comment that you really do!
My first YouTube gathering

An experience that idealically need space in its own post. It was fun and interesting partly but mainly I thought it was difficult for many reasons. I found it difficult to find "the right people" to exchange experiences with. YouTubers whoI felt I could make collabs with in the future and who knows how it is with the daily struggle to get views and to develope your channel. I got some rough experiences around as well that made me feel I dont want to go to a gathering again. This feeling remain still after three months

I went to the United States 

Three weeks of amazing impressions and loads of adventures. Here I managed to meet two great YouTubers who I appreciated a lot to meet. People I could make awesome collabs with and whom I felt I got good exchange with. Would love to meet even more but they was prevented to meet up unfortunately. The collab videos will be on my channel first to then be followed by the rest. I have also built up my videoarchive a lot so everything wont be shared emediately but wait to the appropiate moment to share it

The daily struggle work with my YouTube channel

Once back in Europe I had to start waking my channel back to life again. A daily work that is extremely hard and difficult but made with passion and determination. The positive feedback I receive as comments on my videos and my channel is what gives me fuel to keep going. Often I can feel I want to give up as its almost impossible to get views on my videos but then suddenly I get a comment that cheer me up to keep working

Unfortunately Im extremely slow in my nature and actions. Something I do suffer from in many aspects. I want so much more than I can provide. I wanted to bring on the concept of new video every 5th day but constantly get delayed and prevented from doing it. I bet this will be the death of my channel at the very end. Now my next video is on its way but I once again failed to be uploaded the day I wanted. This makes me enormously frustrated!

jealousy and chasing supporters

To promote myself and my videos  is my weakest part in my work. Its dreadful to force people to watch videos and to sell yourself. In such moments I cant help beeing jealous of those who get hundreds of views instantly on upload a video. Often my brain is occupied with thougths on how they do it and "why they and not me" feelings. I try not to let these feelings take over as it prevents me from keep working for my own goals

I have always been very keen to the YouTube community and to support other YouTubers. Lately I have focused even more to find the YouTubers who are in the same boat as myself as I realise that those is the ones who would give the best support just as much as they appreciate my support the most

Missing friends

Sadly many people is very selfish out there who Want but not to Give. I realise more and more who is your real friends and they are extremely few and rare
If you read this text all the way here then you are certainly one of them as you took your time and effort to read all this. Im most grateful to You!

If nobody read this text its fine too, It was still good to speak out somewhere
Oh yeah sorry for the lost images here. I deleted them in a stressed moment without realising they where connected to Blogger. Will see if I can bring them back if there is interest in it

Just  me, Yoz